Homeschool Mom Entrance Exam

I frequently get asked about homeschooling.  What’s it like?  (It’s insane!)  How much time does it take? (Somewhere from an hour to two days.)   Can I do it? (If I can ANYONE can.)  To answer your questions, I thought I would put together a Homeschool Mom Entrance Exam.  Check out some brief, humorous exercises that will help you see if you are cut out to be a homeschool mom.

Consider this the Homeschool Mom Entrance Exam.

Simply follow these steps and we will see if you are cut out to be a homeschool mom.

1).  First, spread every surface in your house with books…..tables, bookshelves, couches, and don’t forget the floor.  Leave them for a week.  Pick a random book and try to find it.  Enlist your entire family to search relentlessly.  Welcome to the world of curriculum!

2).  Next, if you have any floor space left cover it with glue, construction paper, and old newspapers.  We will call this your art supply space.  Remember to add loads of glitter.  Grab the glue and stick it to your table, your floors, and your walls.  Now leave this for at least a week.  This will simulate an in-depth art project.  If you are feeling especially brave make a paper mache globe.  There’s nothing better than mixing up glue and newspaper and trying to stick it to a balloon.

3).  Fill some test tubes with random liquids, plant a bean in a plastic cup, and leave out a piece of bread to mold.  Then, put these all in your kitchen.  Randomly say, “no please don’t eat that,” several times a day.  This will simulate the ongoing science projects.

4).  Go make yourself a cup of coffee.  While there have someone yell for math help.  While helping with math have someone else yell for reading help.  Then while helping with reading remember that you have to switch the laundry.  In the laundry room remember that you have to lay out meat for dinner.  While laying out dinner have someone yell for help with spelling.  While helping with spelling remember that you haven’t put in the grade for the oldest’s math test.  Then while sitting in your chair think about how good it would be to have a cup of coffee………(Actual scenario from a few days ago.)

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5).  Explain long-division to your wall.  Repeat several times.

6).  Jump in the shower.  While in there explain why the earth is round, why penguins can survive in hot and cold weather, and how multiplication is applicable to everyday life.  It may also be helpful to start an argument with yourself about why you can’t skip any subjects today.  Remind yourself that persistence is an excellent character trait in children.  

7).  Prepare answers to the following questions:  “Why are your kids not in school today?” “How will they be socialized?” “What’s wrong with the public school system?”  Give these answers to total strangers.

8).  Hop in your minivan.  Spend three entire afternoons a week driving around town to activities that involve groups of people. Ponder the meaning of socialization as you rush from one event to another.

9). Take a phone call.  Have someone interrupt you a minimum of ten times a minute.  At least five of these times to read the same instructions on a worksheet.  When you hang up search for your youngest child.  She is inevitably hiding in hopes that you will forget it’s math time.

10).  Have your husband come home and ask how your day was.  Look at the clock, and be amazed that it’s evening.  Quickly check to make sure that everyone is still alive.  Tell him it was a good day.  Realize that you love this life, even if it is crazy, hectic, and insane!

So what do you think?  Can you pass the homeschool mom entrance exam? If so, congratulations!  Now be sure to check out my homeschool tips for beginners.  In no time you will be well on your way to becoming a homeschool mom.